Oh my goodness. You have to be one of the most beautiful kids I've ever seen. I worry daily about how your dad will act when you're a teenager, because let's face it, you will not lack in the area of prospective dates. With the way he acts now when you hug a boy 'friend', I feel for you. Maybe he will soften in his old age when the time comes. I hope, for your sake anyways.
I always wonder, with you having a sister like AJ, if you will grow up to be sincerely compassionate or if you will have a great disdain for her. I know it's hard for you. Always having to feel like you have to keep an eye on her or she'll eat your barbies, or pull your hair, or sit/waller/or practically jump on you, or destroy the room that you JUST cleaned. I hope one day you realize that she's just crazy about you and wants to be in the same room with you and wants to sit next to you. I really don't think she's trying to tick you off...ALTHOUGH I have seen her grab a handful of hair when you jerked a toy from her. You TTTT-totally deserved that one!
I know sometimes you think AJ gets more attention than you, but I hope you realize one day that YOU are the lucky one. I've tried to explain this before, but you're five and I'm not sure if you 'get it', hopefully one day you will. Part of me, deep down, is insanely worried that you will look for attention in all the wrong places when you get older, because you felt as if you were second-best due to all of AJ's needs.
You're smart. Really smart and I knew it a long time ago. And conniiiiivvving. Lol. I see myself in you even though you're not 'mine'. I see you do things and those wheels turning in that head of yours. Always trying to figure out how to get away with something or how to get someone else to take the blame (mainly Alexis lol). I always call you on it and you just stare me down and then 90% of the time you will crack a smile because you know I'm right! Maybe i should let you get away with it. But I don't want to because I don't want you to think it's ok. I want you to learn early that people will figure it out. Maybe Im paranoid, but I just want you to be a good person. A good name means more than any amount of money or social status. The only reason I pick up on it is because it's exactly how my brain worked at that age. You're just a big sister and I was a little sister. I had no one to manipulate lol. I grew out of it, hopefully you will too, because a mind like yours can do a lot of great things.
I know that you will be such a good big sister to Ali. I can tell already that you're gonna be a motherly type. You always want to make sure everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing. Your mind is like a little daily planner. You want to know everything we are doing every time you're here from start to finish. I'm not sure why. I guess five year olds need to be prepared for all their daily tasks haha. I will never forget when you came to the hospital to see Ali. I don't think I've ever seen you more truly excited (except when you and Alexis opened the dollhouse Big Daddy and Gigi got you for Christmas this year lol). You came thru the door just cheesing from ear to ear and then you kind of hid behind your mom with a huge grin on your face, but like you didn't know what to do lol. Even tonight, when you got up to get a drink before bed and I had just brought Ali in the living room to feed her and laid her on the couch. I was at the refrigerator and you looked at Ali on the couch from across the room and stopped and then started walking toward the hallway. Then turned back around, stopped, and ran over to kiss her on the cheek real fast and ran back down the hallway. You never even saw me watching you, but my heart just melted.
You are so intelligent, sweet (when you want to be lol), helpful, gorgeous, and have so much potential. I hope I get to see you use it all to every extent because the world won't know what hit them when you do.
Love,
Erica
